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January 11th, 2009
December 6th, 2008
November 30th, 2008
12:31 am
your family is wonderful.
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November 27th, 2008
09:47 pm
if you don't like me, stop acting like you do.
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November 15th, 2008
12:29 pm
:( at my stepmom already blasting christmas music.
not 'til december, pleaseeeee.
i'm feeling much better.
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November 13th, 2008
09:11 pm
Some afternoons, when you would not sit up
in bed or change out of the black t-shirt or
speak to the woman at your bedside with the
clipboard, your parents would bring your dog
to the hospital gardens and we would wheel you
to the window to see steadfast Sadie, retrieving
the tennis ball like always. Two years before that,
when i had those very last pounds to gain, before
the hospital doors would spring open and spill me
back into high school wilderness, my mother left
my prom gown hanging from the IV stand.
Every time i stalked to the common room for a
meal, i had to push it aside. And during my freshman
year at college, you used to call from the halfway
house and we'd spend hours declaring telephone
love - Those afternoons acquittals when you'd swear
no one could have prevented your pulled trigger
and i'd promise i had never seen your eyes glint
in the blue digitals of the electronic scale.
My dorm would empty for dinner and in your city,
the addicts in adjacent apartments would turn on
their televisions and by the time our rooms darkened
around us, our throats sounded sore from talking. Once
you asked me what color underwear i had on. Mumbled it so
sheepishly and i whispered back Blue, electrified
by how frequently you'd picture it - after curfew
counting down days in the blank calendar dark.
you remind me of you.
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November 10th, 2008
04:05 pm
may angels lead you in.
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November 8th, 2008
07:38 pm
i'm glad you're thoroughly enjoying your life.
you know, without me in it.
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November 5th, 2008
04:05 pm
oh, and:
grow up.
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01:07 pm
it felt so good to be a part of the much-awaited changes we will now see in our country.
i really do have faith that my vote (and a majority of american votes) will pay off.
i can't lie, obama's speech made me cry.
is that weird?
i'm just so happy.
please keep all of your promises, president obama!
conor oberst tonight in boston FINALLY.
i downloaded a ton of live mp3s from a show that he had a few weeks back. they sound soo good, i'm really excited. he's one of my favorite people in the world, and i know i sound typical, but it really is just going to be a wonderfullllll experience for me.
i invited my dad to come with, i really miss spendign a lot of time with him. i see him less now because of school and work, but i feel like the fact that i'm doing something meaningful with my time finally makes him proud.not that he never was proud, but it's obvious now, and it's nice. so i think that spending some time with him tonight at the show and the drive there and back will be good. he's my best friend, before anyone else.
i didn't talk much about halloween. evin and i drove down to newport to meet up with aaron, zack, chris, and erica. we went to panera for dinner (evin and i, everyone else ate without us! but i guess i told them they could? i forgot, haha) and then we went to a graveyard and fooled around there. i was snow white, evin was a lumberjack(?), aaron was a werewolf, zack was a zombie, and chris and erica were sweeney todd and mrs. lovett. it was a lot of fun, because i don't see as much of them as i'd like. and i'm so glad that nothing is ever awkward with chris or anything, it's nice to talk to him and catch up. erica is suchhhh a sweetheart! aaron i've actually been seeing more of lately, and i like it.
we've been discussing maybe saving up and getting an apartment next september when he starts school. we're both not too sure about it, but i think we COULD do it. it's fun to think about. it'd be so fun to decorate! and have a friend there to talk to and play games with and watch movies with (NOT sarah silverman dvds, please!)
i don't knowww.
i think i need to talk to my doctor about how i go completely insane sometimes.
honestly, like once or twice a month, i get this completely out-of-body experience where i go crazy. i don't want to go into detail really, because i don't normally even talk to half of you on here. it's not PMS, and there's nothign really to trigger it, ever.
sooo, when i go to the doctors, i may have to bring that up. or i might be scared, so i probably won't do it.
but part of that insanity resulted in bare bedroom walls, and now it feels really empty and creepy, and i hate it so much. udhnemklfjgifsdo i sound like a freak.
i'm tired.
i'm happy.
( pictures! )
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November 2nd, 2008
09:56 pm
CONOR OBERST IN THREE DAYS.
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01:32 am
halloween was goood, and emily's party was gooood, and i'm happy.
conor oberst soon! (:
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October 27th, 2008
05:34 pm
i just want to sleep.
( i'm so happy. )
i'm excited for halloween. evin and i are going to newport with chris, erica, aaron, and zack to go out for dinner and enjoy downtown newport in our costumes. i think it will be wonderful. i'll be so cold! i'm going to layer like, five pairs of red tights so my legs won't fall off.
i need to go to savers with evin to get outfits for emily's party on saturday. i have a dress, but it's humongous and the ugliest purple, ever. so maybe i'll find something else? if not, i guess i'll have to go with that one. evin wants to dress up like prince, but i think it might be really hard to find the necessary stuffff. i want to do his makeup though! haha(:
there are so many dishes to do. i hate doing dishes.
i'm moving in the winter/spring to woonsocket with my mom and her boyfriend.
aaron and i have been talking about getting an apartment for next september though. it's going to be really difficult convincing my mom. i know that we can do it, because i already MAKE enough money now to do it (but i have a spending problem that i need to fix? ahh). butbutbut i don't know. :/
its really exciting to think about, though!
my hair is black for halloween. i always hate it the day of and the day after i dye it, but when it's not so fake-looking, i like it. and i dyed my extentions, too! (:
ramblerambleramble.
tomorrow is michael paoletti's birthday!
halloweenemilyspartyCONOR OBERST NOVEMBER FIFTH.
<3
hbappydfkjdsvjk happyhappyhappy.
p.s.!!!
I'm sorry those pictures are so big and i'm probably taking up your entire friend's page.
i'm lazy!
Current Music: dave matthews band :"let you down."
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October 21st, 2008
09:19 pm
i know my screaming and shouting won't keep you.
i know you're still my love.
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October 18th, 2008
12:26 am
i never think anybody likes me, even though i'm sure they do.
i feel like everyone thinks i'm a stiff bitch - to put it simply. and i'm really not. uefhd.
i do terrible in social situations, i don't even know why i bother.
xzscvhhbjnks
there's something wrong with me, i'm sure of it.
but the secret life of bees was such a good movie.
Current Music: regina: "just like the movies"
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October 15th, 2008
06:19 pm
i know that none of you care,
but i've realized that when i'm p.m.s-ing, i'm obnoxiously clingy and need all of the attention i could possibly ever get. and then when i get attention, i'm a complete jerk.
i'm apologizing for that now.
sorrysorrysorrysorry.
iloveyou.
buying a birdhouse to send to aaron tonight and making him a mix cd.
shipping that asap, along with $20 for christopher'ss picture, and erica's cd.
alissa thursday night, maybe? after school.
gabby friday.
evin and aaron and zack all day saturday.
i'm still so excited for emily's party.
i've been listening to so many 80's t00ns, and i'm driving everybody crazy.
my stepmom's friend has an old dress from the 80's that she's going to let me wear.
i don't even know if i'm supposed to dress up. but i reallyreally want to, hahah.
i adore this weather and i'm going nuts.
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October 7th, 2008
09:47 pm
play this. just the song, don't worry about the video.
chilllls, everytime.
fdgvn dkvdsfhnvslkdfb.
i wonder what it will be like, and what it will feel like, and when, and who (i hope i know who), and where, and how, and if i'll cry (of course i will),
and if in that instant, i will grow up and change everything i've ever known.
i hope it is beautiful, and the only one i love.
Current Music: old 97's - question
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October 4th, 2008
11:49 pm
i pissed myself.
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October 2nd, 2008
11:09 pm
i'm happy.
that basically sums up everything, in a nutshell.
and i'm so excited for so many things!
it's finally october. fall, fall, fall.
i'm excited to pick out pumpkins and paint them and watch horror movies and to dress up!
and i'm excited to go to providence tomorrow to meet aaron and erica and drink coffee and tea and hot chocolate and go to johnny rockets and celebrate aaron's birthday, even though it's not his birthday at all. andddd
i'm excited to drive so much with shane. meaning he drives, not me. pumped.
same thign with matt morales, i miss him so much. he and his girlfriend are so cute! and he got his license and i'm so happy i'm goign to see underoath with him on the 24th.
and i'm excited for the cumberland high school talent show and to see paul hewey finally, and to see gabby perfom her song, it will be so good! and maybe dinner afterwards with her, devin, evin, and i? oh, it would be great.
and i'm most excited about seeing conor oberst with my poppa next month. i'm glad i aked him, we haven't spent time together wit hjust the two of us in such a long time.
and i'm excited for emily's murder mystery 80's prom themed party! i can't wait to dress up and have fun and make friends.
and i can't wait for halloween and dressing up cute like snow white, and goign on a night time walk in the crisp fall!
that wasn't in order, i'm just so excited about things!
and happy.
i'm so happy!
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